Someone else said it for me

I wasn't planning on posting today but when I sat down at the computer to look up some homeschool stuff, I checked out this blog update.  http://cassadas.blogspot.com/2011/09/would-you-do-it-again.html  Once again, it is EXACTLY what we are thinking and feeling.  God has blessed me with these 2 blogs the last few days.  It's so great to know that other people doing this are feeling the same way.  So many times, we hear only the fairy tale stories of adoption.  Adoption is beautiful, even though it's so hard.  So, if you are wondering if we would do it again knowing how hard it is, the answer is in this post!  Here is one of my favorite parts of this post because I struggle with this all the time:  (this is a very specific prayer request of mine:)

"not because i think the feeling of love will most definitely develop. i don't know that they will {He also knows i SO desire this...but i will choose love even if i don't feel it.} this makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. HOW is my heart so ugly that i can't LOVE a person? a person that NEEDS my love. that needs his MOTHER'S love?? i will cry. and i will love. {and i will fail} and i will keep loving."

If I had time to post…

I would try to say something like this:

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport

 

She is a writer so it sounds much better when she says it, but it’s all the things we are feeling and thinking.  So, if you are wondering how things are going – read her post.  She says it so perfectly.

We started Homeschooling last week.  Tanya has had a great attitude most of the time.  Alex is enjoying school.  Sports have started and we are running around like crazy all the time.  Ryan had a baseball tournament all day yesterday and I took Tanya, Cole, and Jacob.   Ellie had a volleyball game so Jody took Alex (and then Jacob came back with a friend).  Tanya hasn’t quite adjusted to the heat and whenever we are outside she tells me 100+ times that she is so hot, or so thirsty, or so hungry.  I made sure she understood that it was going to be very long and hot, but she didn’t have to go.  If she did, I didn’t want to hear “I’m so hot, I’m so thirsty, I’m so hungry.”  She said ok, and she didn’t complain once about it.  Later in the evening when it had cooled off, she told me “Mommy, I’m no hot.  I’m no cold.  I’m no thirsty.  I’m no hungry.”  Hurray!  Contentment!  She even told Jody when we got home.  It was cute.  I was also excited because she even watched the game and cheered for Ryan (he was a good sport even though I could tell he was a little embarassed).  Most of the time they are both miserable when we are doing something that doesn’t entertain them, so this made me really happy to see her be interested in someone else.

Ok, time to start school.  I have so much to say but no time!  Maybe later….