I wasn't planning on posting today but when I sat down at the computer to look up some homeschool stuff, I checked out this blog update. http://cassadas.blogspot.com/2011/09/would-you-do-it-again.html Once again, it is EXACTLY what we are thinking and feeling. God has blessed me with these 2 blogs the last few days. It's so great to know that other people doing this are feeling the same way. So many times, we hear only the fairy tale stories of adoption. Adoption is beautiful, even though it's so hard. So, if you are wondering if we would do it again knowing how hard it is, the answer is in this post! Here is one of my favorite parts of this post because I struggle with this all the time: (this is a very specific prayer request of mine:)
"not because i think the feeling of love will most definitely develop. i don't know that they will {He also knows i SO desire this...but i will choose love even if i don't feel it.} this makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. HOW is my heart so ugly that i can't LOVE a person? a person that NEEDS my love. that needs his MOTHER'S love?? i will cry. and i will love. {and i will fail} and i will keep loving."
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