“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…”

James 1:27

Our cell phone number in Ukraine is: +38 097 828 9477. We are 8 hours ahead of Texas time. We can receive text but cannot send them. You can also reach us by email at joniredding@hotmail.com.

Friday, June 17, 2011

We picked Yarik up today at the orphanage.  We had to run to the court house to pay a tax for the adoption and then we headed out to the camp to pick up Tanya and Bogdan.  We were a little uncomfortable interacting with Yarik because of the things people have told us about him.   We had planned to just not even mention buying him anything or giving him money.  We wanted to buy him a graduation gift but we didn't mention anything at first.  He never brought it up at all.  He and Natalia talked most of the way and we just listened wondering what they were saying.  Every once in a while he would point out something and tell us about it.  He told us when we passed through the town that his father lives in.  He said he hasn't ever seen his father.  I'm not sure how that fits with what we know because Tanya and Yarik supposedly have the same father.  He also told us that their mother is in prison.  We didn't know that either.  He is planning on going to trade school next year to become a welder.  He is going to live in the village where he grew up this summer with Yuri.  (more on that later).  He is a really cute kid and has the sweetest smile.  The way he was today was so different from the way everyone describes.  When we arrived at the camp, they were having some kind of cookout and all the kids where outside.   Everyone yelled for Tanya and Bogdan as soon as they saw us.  They came running over and when they saw Yarik, they ran to him and gave him huge hugs.  He was so happy to see them.   We got to the town where the courthouse is and we had about an hour and a half before our meeting so we went to eat.  Yarik was so sweet to Tanya and Bogdan.  He smiled at us a lot too.  We went to the court house and we had to go in front of 8 people sitting like a jury.  It wasn't what we expected.  One lady explained to the others that we wanted to separate the siblings because Yarik did not want to be adopted by us.  Then for about 10 minutes 8 adults tried to convince Yarik to go to America with us.  At one point we looked back at Yarik and there were tears in his eyes.  I can't tell you how heartbreaking it was. Tanya and Ellie were also both on the verge of tears - even though Ellie didn't even know what anyone was saying.  Yarik just kept saying that he didn't want to be adopted and that he would keep in touch with his sister by phone and by Skype.  They told Natalia to ask us if Yarik said he would go, would we adopt him?  I had no idea what to say.  I just said that we only have paperwork to adopt 2 children right now and that we are just getting to know Yarik.  I think Natalia translated a little different.  I'm pretty sure she said that we wanted to adopt Yarik but he did not want to go with us.  We showed our photo album and told them about all of the kids in our community that have been adopted from Zhytomyr.  They liked that.  They asked if in a few years Yarik would like to come to America to visit his brother and sister, would we help him?  We said yes.  Finally they voted and announced the verdict that they approved the separation.  Natalia told us later that they really seemed like they were going to say no.  She was really nervous.  She also told us later that in the car on the way there, she asked Yarik why he had never wanted to go to the US.  He said that he didn't know if he would go or not, that we didn't offer to adopt him so he knew we didn't want to.  That really broke our hearts.  We didn't know coming in to this we would even have to deal with this.  We thought that because he is graduating (tomorrow) we would not have to do the separation.  Plus the people from the orphanage told us from the beginning that he didn't want to be adopted and he wanted to stay in Ukraine.  We hope to keep in touch with him and maybe someday he can come visit us.  We will continue to pray for him all the time.  I think he is really a sweet boy who loves his brother and sister and was able to act so selflessly today.  After the meeting, we had Natalia tell him that we would like to buy him a graduation gift.  He said that we did not have to.  We asked if there is anything he would like.  He thought about it for a while and said that he needed some tennis shoes like Jody's but maybe a different color.  We told him we would like to try to come to his graduation tomorrow and he said he would really like for us to come.  Natalia went home for the weekend so we will have to get a taxi and go by ourselves.  It's very uncomfortable without a translator, especially around all the older boys.  They always ask us for cigarettes.  Maybe we can give them all a pack for graduation. (kidding, of course).  When we dropped Yarik off, he asked if he could have 10 grivna which is $1.25. I think we made friends with him today!  It was so good that we could get on such good terms with him so that he can continue to have a relationship with Tanya and Bogdan and also with us.  We are going to take him some shoes tomorrow for a graduation gift and later we are also going to buy a small laptop for him so that he can skype with Tanya and Bogdan.  On the way back to camp, we went to the house where they grew up.  We were hoping to see Yuri but he wasn't there.  I took pictures of their house but you can't really tell how bad it is.  It is just basically 4 brick walls, about 150 square feet.  The floor is dirt and there is an outhouse on the side.  There was a ladder going to a loft which is where I guess they slept.  In the other half of the house was where the animals slept.  It was deserted and looked like nobody had been there in quite a while.  Yarik said he wants to fix it up while he is living there this summer.  I just can't believe anyone could live like this.  It gets so cold here, I can't imagine how they kept warm.  There was a goat in the field next to the house that Tanya said belonged to them.  Tanya wanted to go by this little store where she liked the lady who worked there.  It had been 4 years since she had been there and she was glad to see her.  The lady told her that she was so happy for them and that she worried about what would happen to them.  Now they could go and have a good life.  She even said that Tanya looked like me, especially if she gets a sunburn.  She said Tanya and Bogdan were lucky to have us and I said "No, we are the ones who are lucky!"  Several times during the day, Tanya just came up and hugged me.  She is so sweet.  In the car she would just lay her head on my shoulder.  Bogdan gets more and more comfortable with us every day.  I hugged him bye today!  He rode in Jody's lap and laid his head back on Jody's chest and fell asleep.  They did take a bath because they were much cleaner today.  Bogdan had blisters on his heels from his sandals so one of the workers from camp asked us if we could buy him some shoes.  We found some slip on shoes that won't hurt his blisters.  Tanya and Yarik wanted to show us the river that they grew up swimming in.  It was fun to just be with them away from camp and to have Yarik there with us.  Ellie and Tanya had a lot of fun together and were really silly.  We loved it!  I guess that's all for our day.  Jody is always telling me that I write too much.  Sorry if its too long, but I want to remember all of these details someday :)  Thanks for praying for us today - I think that is the only reason that they granted the separation!  Please pray that the paperwork will be processed quickly and we can have court next week.  Also pray for our time at the graduation tomorrow.  We have had only a little time with internet the last couple of days.  Thanks for the emails!  I love reading them.  I hope to have time to email tomorrow.   Here are pictures:

Tanya and Bogdan were so happy to see Yarik!


Yarik, Tanya, Bogdan


This is the house the kids grew up in.



This is the spot in the river that they grew up swimming in.


Yarik and Bogdan


Ellie and Tanya being silly!

This is Vika Quintero and her friend Masha.


This is Tanya and Katya.  She told me when we got to camp that Katya always gets hosted in France and she doesn't like it.  She wants to have a family in the U.S.  She is 13.  She was a little shy and didn't really want to smile for the camera.


This is a video of the outside of the kids house.  The next one is of the inside.  It was dark so it's not very good but you can get an idea of the conditions.



 

2 comments:

  1. I'm so glad that the separation was granted. Phew! Yay!! I'm also so very glad that you were able to get to know the real Yarik, the one that is still a 16 year old brother to your new children:) It is so fun to see the pictures of all the kids playing together, having fun, being happy and just being kids. Take gum to the graduation tomorrow. When the boys ask for cigarettes say Nyet and pantomime smoking and hand them the gum instead. Don't offer it to them, you actually have to hand it to them. Of course, smiling:) They loooove gum! And bananas. And sunflower seeds...

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  2. I HAVE ALREADY ADOPTED 3 CHILDREN AND AM WORKING ON MY 4TH. WHEN DOING MY HOMESTUDY WE WERE APPROVED FOR 2. I ASKED MY SW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE WOULD DECIDE TO ADOPT A 3RD CHILD WHILE IN UKRAINE. SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD HAVE TO CALL INS AND GET US APPROVED FOR 3. THIS CAN BE DONE BY PHONE AND A FAX. SO IF FOR SOME REASON YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT ADOPTING Y IT IS POSSIBLE. ON THE OTHER HAND, ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE AND WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY. JUST PAY AND NO MATTER WHAT, THE PLAN THAT GOD HAS PAVED FOR YOU WILL BE WHAT EVER PATH YOU DECIDE TO TAKE. HE IS GUIDING YOU. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS!!

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