Can we really do this?

Jody and I both woke up at 4:00 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.  We are still adjusting to the time difference and there is just so much on our minds.  It's so great to be back with the kids.  We got to the airport about 10:30 pm on Saturday.  Lots of tears from all of us!!!  We stopped at Whataburger on the way home :)   We slept with the 3 boys cuddled up in our bed and it was so nice!  The kids were excited to watch the videos of their new brother and sister.  They don't want me to leave again, even though this trip will only be about a week.  I don't want to leave again either.  But, I have to do it.   We are having a difficult time right now.  We are emotionally exhausted.  We are full of worries.  Can we really do this?  Can we really care for a special needs child?  Can we do it and still have enough time for the other 5 kids?  Will we ever be able to love them like the others?   Will they ever love us like our other kids do?  Will we be able to treat them the same even if we don't exactly feel the same?  Will Jody and I have any time for each other?  Will we neglect Tanya's needs because Bogdan's are so numerous and obvious?  How can we pay for the rest of this adoption which has ended up being so much more expensive than we thought?  How can we pay for the medical and dental bills that we are undoubtedly going to have?  I can't even imagine how much all of this is going to cost.  I know that God will take care of all of these things.  I just have to think about that and let go of these worries, but it's hard.  It's hard for me to even type these things because I feel guilty about the way I feel.  It's comforting to read that other people have these same feelings and God got them through it.  I know that someday I will read this and be once again amazed by what God has done in our lives.  But right now, it's hard.  I feel very inadequate for what is ahead.  I know that I am inadequate but thankfully God is more than adequate and He will give us everything we need to do what He has called us to do.  This is the verse that keeps coming to mind as I struggle through all of these things:

James 1:2-8  ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

I don't know exactly what day I will be leaving because I'm not sure when our 10 day waiting period is over.  There is so much to do in this week to get ready to go back.  I need to book flights and make some appointments for when we get back.  I need to get some clothes for Tanya and Bogdan and I am going to try and get some clothes to take to Yarik also.  I need to run some errands but I want to spend every second playing with the kids.  I guess I will just make take them with me!  Ryan has his 1st All-Star tournament this weekend so I'm excited that I will get to see that before I leave.  

Thanks so much for praying for us during this time, please keep it up!